There's a great piece by Elemental called Cup of Brown joy.
If you can work out the complex bits feel free to send me an update.
Love a cup,
I would, oh god yes.
Oh that is gorgious.
I need a cup of the brown stuff the shade of an acorn.
made warm by the same source that I take my cakes from.
using a teapot a mug of fine china being hooked up to IV in constant supplies for my urges might verge on earthy brown tea certain it's worth it sherpas who work and use a fresh fountain I've discerned brews from peruvian mountains I've served up a cup from an elephant's trunk with a couple of monks who utterly stunk.
I've had bourbons with sultans, creams with queens. I've bathed in earl grey. I'm really that keen and missionaries single epiphany that it between him and me is a simple sip of british tea. so when times are hard and life is rough you can stick the kettle and find me a cup.
Now when I say Earl Grey you say yes please.
When I say Assam you say lovely.
When I say Ooh you say Aah.
Oh and God ...
I've been around the world in eighty brews to see the place they take me to make the brew that tastes like the cream cakes made by angels do. I'm not the same as you get shakey but aim to swig amazing fluids but don't make it the same. Now using fine leaves picked by pretty maidens in a bag knitted by a seamstress who lives in Copenhagen. Brewed up in a pot made of semiprecious metal let the blessèd contents settle in my very special kettle.
Now when I say Oo you say long.
When I say herbal you say no thanks:
no I want, I want milk in it. strong though. I want to see that spoon stand up.
If you're tired of tea then you're tired of life.
I'm madder than a hatter it really fires my mind. liken me to Earl grey assam or ginger. Lapsang souchong raise my pinky finger keep your sodding 'offee in a proper copper coffee pot and spot me lobbing teapots to your poncy rotten coffee shop. coffee clots, nodding off. lost the plot, sodding off. Decent caffeine's in a battenburg to top it off. cut them off a different cloth for different lot can take eighty cups a day. I haven't slept for eighty years. You can say I'm mad for tea, or just say I'm mad. You can't stay any longer oh actually I'm quite glad all the more battenburg for me I can barely pour, my hands are so shakey from caffeine. Oh, lovely though. I'd sell my own grandma for a cup. Well, I'd sell your grandma for a cup.